Instructions for MS TV Dinner

1. Remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor MS rights to all TV dinners --regardless of brand.
   • You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of MS's rights).
   • You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
2. Insert the dinner into the oven.
   • If you have a PC microwave oven, set the oven using the following keystrokes:
     \mstv.dinn.//08.5min@@50%heat//,
     then enter:
     ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
   • If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
   • If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the diner exactly to your specification.
3. MS TV Dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure.
   • For a PC oven, remove the dinner from the oven and enter:
     ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap.
     This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor.
   • If your Mac crashes, simply press start again.
4. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment.
5. Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced.
   • If you want another variety, call MS Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety.
   • MS Chicken is all you really need.
   • MS has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size.
   • Excess MS Chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in MS approved packaging.
6. MS promises a dessert with every dinner. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.
7. MS dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost.
   • This is a feature, not a bug.
   • Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.